Get A Presidential Pardon
For a small donation to Texas Alliance for Retired Americans, I will write you a PRESIDENTIAL PARDON!
Friends, have you thought about getting a PRESIDENTIAL PARDON for yourself? Everybody else is getting them, why not you? You could get pardoned for anything from jaywalking all the way to TREASON during this political season.
For just a small donation to Texas Alliance for Retired Americans, I will write you your very own PRESIDENTIAL PARDON!
Friends, you and I both know that I’m not the president of the United States, but I am the president of UAW local 848 retirees, and a president is a president. When the presidential pardons are flying thick and fast, like they are now, do you think anybody is going to examine YOURS all that closely? Trump is handing out pardons like wallpaper.
Trump even pardoned a Thanksgiving turkey, although some say he only pardoned the white meat. He’s pardoned people for lying to Congress, for lying to everybody! He’s giving out so many Presidential Pardons, you could TP people’s houses in presidential pardons. With all these pardons flying around, nobody is going to check yours! Believe me friends, no one will notice which president signed it.
Donate now to Texas Alliance for Retired Americans and GET PARDONED! Just go to GeneLantz.org and click PRESIDENTIAL PARDON!
Now, friends, I know you haven’t done anything to be pardoned for, you haven’t done any crimes. But think about it. WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO? Some of these presidential pardons are going to people who haven’t even been indicted yet. Just because YOU haven’t been indicted for anything, doesn’t mean you couldn’t go ahead and get your presidential pardon. Imagine being pulled over for letting your car’s sticker expire. You just pull out your PRESIDENTIAL PARDON and roll right on! If you watered your lawn on the wrong day, NOTHING TO IT! Made wind in a crowded elevator? FORGET ABOUT IT! Just walk away with your PRESIDENTIAL PARDON. With a PRESIDENTIAL PARDON in your pocket, you could smoke marijuana in any state in the union!
I’ll write your pardon
Come on and bribe me in the Rose Garden
Come down there any time
I will pardon you for any crime
This offer expires on January 20
Fund Raising Gets Crazy!
For the last 6 months or so, I’ve been getting nuttier and nuttier on social media. The reason is fund raising. I raise money for KNON radio, where I have a talk show. I raise money for the Dallas AFL-CIO, where I am the Communications Director. I raise money for the Texas Alliance for Retired Americans, where I am state secretary.
Traditionally, a fund raiser is a dinner. But the pandemic has put everything on-line. I’ve struggled with presentation concepts and video editing, but I’ve also raised a few dollars. Selling “presidential pardons” is not the silliest thing I’ve stooped to. Here are some others I did for KNON radio:
Curse People: For a donation, I offered to curse other people on behalf of mild-mannered people who are just “too decent” to curse out “people who deserve it!” On YouTube it’s https://youtu.be/Gyvvg09rWxk
Vaccination Excusals: I offered to write excusals to anybody crazy enough to want to avoid being vaccinated against COVID-19. https://youtu.be/WeKCwDxExiE
Fake Vacations: For people who don’t really want to go anywhere. https://youtu.be/qLfhpfLX60w
Ear Stiffener: Spray to help people with floppy ears keep their masks on. https://youtu.be/X6w-h17Gt_g
The economy is fast going into the toilet. Fund raising, like a lot of things, is getting desperate.
I’m on KNON’s “Workers Beat” program every Saturday at 9 Central Time. They post it, and “Workers Beat Extra” on Soundcloud.com. If you are curious about what I really think, visit my personal web site.